atthemercyof | but that's how we like it, and that's all we want

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but that's how we like it, and that's all we want

[ He wakes up, and he's not where he should be. Gone is Charles Xavier's bedroom, the warm press of a body beside him, and in it's place is - well, Erik thinks it's a library. He pushes himself up off the mattress on the floor, black wood shelves looming into view. He doesn't know what's happening, only that he feels a little outside it all. Nobody could have moved him in his sleep, and if they wanted to, they wouldn't leave him somewhere like this.

He turns around to glance at the room twice, moves a little closer to the shelves to draw his fingers across the spines, not plucking them free just yet. There's a sound, somewhere outside the room, and he abandons the examination in favour of opening the door, taking the hall at a quick, but not frantic pace. He's curious, which is bizzare in and of itself.

Though he doesn't look into any of the rooms he's passing, it does feel like there's life in here, wherever here is. He hears the noise again, traces it through. ]

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Adorable.

[ Erik says the word with relish, part tease, part honest affection. ] That's precisely what you were.

Then I grew up - oh the horror. Where did that precious face go? [ His cheeks are reddened, but he's clearly pleased with such flattery. ] It'd be an entirely different reaction now if I dashed between servant's skirts and hid behind them for fun.

I'd break you out from solitary confinement, dear.

Ah, my thanks for the good care. [ Sighing shortly, he rests against Erik's shoulder and breathes slowly, still apparently gathering himself from seeing his father once more and missing him every second since. Almost nothing had hurt so deeply as when Charles lost him, and it pushed him to do things he wasn't proud of for reasons he thought his father would have understood. In life, he protected Charles from pain and loneliness, and the young boy wanted to pass that on to his mother so she wouldn't suffer. But, oh his failure.

Mumbling into his shirt. ] So, verdict? Am I anything like him?

I think so. [ Wrapping an arm around Charles' shoulder and squeezing. ] I can see the similarities. He seemed kind, and you are very much the same.

[ Feathering a sweet kiss to his cheek. ] That's as far as I can see the comparisons go, I'm afraid. No more than two years later he died... not much basis for us to make distinctions.

I think he would have been proud.

[ Erik doesn't know all of it, but he knows that. The images he's just seen of a kind, friendly man who treated everyone with care matches up with how Charles is, with what makes Erik love him. ]

T-Thank you. [ In some ways, Charles regrets that his mutation wasn't unlocked before his death - he may have gotten to know more of the man past the veneer of worship Charles had for him. But Erik's words have a calming effect, reassuring him that Charles has a place in Erik's life that wouldn't easily be replaced. Their connection, the type of person the telepath is is important.

Carefully taking the book back. ] A lot of them are like that. Sharp, high emotions of happiness at simply seeing him because he was gone so often. I loved him dearly, but that was one thing I desperately wanted to change, being there for the people important to me. It's what made separation from Raven so painful when I went to Oxford, so I paid for her passage when she was old enough.

[ Glancing sideways at him, a small smile playing carefully across his mouth. He knows how close Raven and Charles are, can imagine what being parted would do to them. ]

It's good that you found each other, that you had each other growing up.

[ A gentle sort of smile. ] We've had our differences, but I really can't imagine life without her and I wouldn't want to.

[ Squeezing around Erik's waist, Charles extracts himself with the greatest care, fingertips catching his shoulder when he gets up like losing physical contact is unacceptable. A little teasing. ] You've been a shockingly good audience to my stifling sentimentalism.

I'm enjoying it. [ And he is, relishing into the rare look at Charles' past, finding out more about the man than he ever thought possible. ] It's wonderful in here.

[ Leaping back up the ladder just to avoid answering for the stupid grin spreading. ] It's exceedingly weird doing this in reverse, but it is nice to have someone in here for once. As you can see, it's not quite an Escher painting, though Raven would argue that my thought processes are built like one.

[ Watching him for a moment. ] It's fascinating that you may do this, tuck everything away for a later time. It's fascinating, truly.

Thank you. [ If he keeps complimenting Charles like this he's never going to be able to deflate his ego. Setting the tome back in its place, fingers trailing over the spine before they drift to another, the cover slightly darker and less well worn. Charles doesn't particularly enjoy looking at this one, but a thread is connecting Charles' past to Erik, and showing him the less bright corners is just as acceptable as the reverse, especially if it helps Erik to know his history, his power awakening wasn't the only one fraught with trouble. And he's already been told what it was that happened, but looking at it is different.

Coming down with it, Charles is smiling faintly and responding in his uniquely academic way. ] Like anything, it took practice. At a certain point, I realized that keeping my own memories separated from others' was going to be necessary, so I needed a system of organization that I not only understood, but made it simple to weed out the right things when they got mixed in. Otherwise, I'd have a scrambled head, you see.

Ah. Because as a telepath you picked up thoughts, you would store someone else's too? And learning to keep them apart became important?

[ The look he gives him is curious, the little pieces of the puzzle coming together, beginning to understand what Charles is doing with this in his mind. He's intrigued, allowed in where he shouldn't. ]

How did you even know to do that?

[ Standing before him, stance a bit broader than his shoulders and the new book securely tucked under his arm. ] It's just something I had to do. You know how empathetic I get. In the beginning, if I didn't learn to distinguish what my feelings were and what belonged to someone else, I'd never know the difference. The same applies to memories in some aspects. I'm not saying I can recall the memories I've pulled from others with perfect clarity, nor can I keep them from decaying any more than I can with my own, but they do need to be set apart. I can think better that way.

[ Quirking a smile, inordinately pleased that Erik has taken a keen interest in the workings of Charles' mind. ] I can show you that room, too, if you'd like to see it.

I want to see everything. [ His grin is an innocent kind of mischevious. He does want to know everything, he wants to make as much of this as he can. But he ducks his head anyway. ] Or as much as you'll let me, It's - I like it.

[ Regarding him fondly, if curious as well, he ambles closer, strangely enjoying having height on Erik like this after these months. Softly. ] What if I let you see everything? Would we ever find our way back outside again?

Everything is so captivating, Charles. [ His entire life is locked away in here, and Erik is allowed within the sanctum, must be trusted enough because Charles hasn't forced him out directly. ] I can't quite help myself.

People would start to miss us, dear. [ Charles can't help himself either, chuckling warm and low not unlike his father's own laughter, his knee sliding to the edge of the cushion. Crooking his finger beneath the point his chin comes to, angling to look at the elegant lines of Erik's face. ] Did I tell you? You have one as well.

[ It's strange to have to look up, a smile curling across his face. ] I do?

Mhm. [ Then, quickly. ] And no, it's not shelves and shelves of naughty things.

[ He laughs, amused for a moment before his voice turns dry. ] Such a shame.

[ Clearly delighted, he winks coyly. ] Shh, I've saved that for the back room.

[ Erik's poker face crumbles even at that, breathes slowly and tips his gaze to Charles. ] Well, let's hope we sleep in, mm? More time to explore.

hooraaaaah, sounds like a wonderful place to set up shop

I hear it's quite cozy this time of the year

It would be nicer than my room though, that's for sure.

what is it, the size of a shoebox?

yes, also MY MATTRESS IS POSSESSED. so I never go into my room unless I am about to pass out ;;

DOES IT TRY TO SWALLOW YOU LIKE IN NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET?

IT TRIES TO STAB ME WITH ITS SPRINGS NIGHTLY. so I sleep on a duvet to avoid death and tetanus.

DDD: DON'T GET SHANKED PLS

I SURVIVED THE NIGHT

HUZZAH, NO NEED TO SEND MEDICS

ALTHOUGH I THINK I MIGHT BE CONTRACTING MY BROTHER'S SCARLET FEVER. itchy and coughing, oops.

WHY CAN'T IT BE A SCARLETT JOHANSSON FEVER?

I DON'T KNOW. THAT WOULD BE MOST AMAZING.I

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