but that's how we like it, and that's all we want

[atthemercyof]

[ He wakes up, and he's not where he should be. Gone is Charles Xavier's bedroom, the warm press of a body beside him, and in it's place is - well, Erik thinks it's a library. He pushes himself up off the mattress on the floor, black wood shelves looming into view. He doesn't know what's happening, only that he feels a little outside it all. Nobody could have moved him in his sleep, and if they wanted to, they wouldn't leave him somewhere like this.

He turns around to glance at the room twice, moves a little closer to the shelves to draw his fingers across the spines, not plucking them free just yet. There's a sound, somewhere outside the room, and he abandons the examination in favour of opening the door, taking the hall at a quick, but not frantic pace. He's curious, which is bizzare in and of itself.

Though he doesn't look into any of the rooms he's passing, it does feel like there's life in here, wherever here is. He hears the noise again, traces it through. ]

Comments

[atthemercyof]

Yes, of course. [ He angles his face towards Charles again, expression clear, he's concerned, of course he is, but he doesn't regret seeing into that part of Charles' past. ] I'm sorry, for when I've pushed you in the past, if I'd have known how it had affected you, I would never have.

[oldcardigans]

I've already forgiven you, Erik. [ There's no way he could have known, either. Hindsight is a menace to their lives, trying to be together, but he can no more hold Erik accountable than he could believe Erik meant malice when he pushed Charles. ] And before you think I'm feeling too sorry for myself, I would not give up my abilities for anything. It wouldn't bring my parents back. I'd have never met you.

[atthemercyof]

Maybe in the next life. I think I'd have drown and become some sort of sea creature.

[ He stops frowning though, going mild and thoughtful while he watches him. They've both been created from grief, it'd be hard to ignore it. ]

[oldcardigans]

[ There's an unhappy bend of his lips at that thought, Charles staring at his feet for a second. Erik and dying are two concepts that don't belong in the same space.

Still, Erik is already half way toward being a shark, all sharp teeth and never ceasing forward motion. Humming, a soft, amused sort of noise, he decides to play along. ] And if I'm a land creature?

[atthemercyof]

You could belong to a deep-sea diver you simply couldn't be parted from.

[ Quirking a lip, holding out his hand. ] But we're both neither, so we can be thankful for that, mm?

ububububu you two stop it with your cuteness

[oldcardigans]

[ Charles does smile at that, pulling his hand out of his pocket to place it in Erik's. ] Very fortunate. Being the same species does help considerably.

they can't, it's a mutation, a very groovy mutation

[atthemercyof]

[ Squeezing his hand firmly. ] Thank you for showing me, I know it must have been hard.

Charles, tell us about this groovy mutation sometime ;_;

[oldcardigans]

[ Charles shakes his head slightly, gaze so focused on this extraordinary man in front of him. ] You did all the work. You make me feel safe to show these things.

yes, Charles, YES.

[atthemercyof]

[ Rising to his feet then, smiling at Charles. ] I'm glad, you know I'll protect whatever I see here.

TALK SCIENCE TO ME

[oldcardigans]

[ Agreeably. ] They couldn't beat it out of you. [ Smiling up at him. ] Do you want to save some of these for later? We can always come back another day; you'd need weeks to get through all of the things my sister and I got up to.

/weeps with joy

[atthemercyof]

I can come back? [ And that hadn't occurred to him, assumed that this was a one off deal, a mistake they didn't know about. Being able to return would be exceptional. ]

[oldcardigans]

[ Amiable, if arrogant. ] Surely you didn't think I could upturn my head, letting my whole life fall out and you'd be able to pick through it in one day?

[ A resounding yes, if Erik will extend his hand and take it. ]

[atthemercyof]

No, but I thought perhaps this was a one off, I'm still not sure how it happened.

[ But his enthusiasm to return lights upon his face. ] Of course, I'll want to, most definitely.

[oldcardigans]

Not that I've had many opportunities to draw others in, but I do know how.

[ But Charles cheers considerably when he accepts, so yes, they have time enough to delve into his past, finding this new way to give himself over to Erik. ] I'm glad you find this interesting enough to want more, but it does give me the chance to prove it's not all wool up here. [ Tapping his temple, grin going boyish ]

[atthemercyof]

I never thought it was, dear. [ A teasing smile. ] Don't be so hard on yourself.

[oldcardigans]

I always have something to prove. [ Raising up on his tip toes to kiss his cheek, he gives a little tug at Erik's hand, a smile playing at the edges of his mouth. ] Want to move along, love? There were a few things I wanted to show you, if you're not complete terrified of me yet.

[atthemercyof]

Never.

[ But he lets himself be led again, openly curious. ] Where to next?

[oldcardigans]

Somewhere a bit different.

[ Leaving it cryptic, Charles leads him to - a dead end, dipping his fingers beneath one sturdy shelf until there's a quiet click. He directs Erik to step back as the shelf shudders and starts to swing wide open, revealing a well-used passage into the rest of Charles' mind. ] After you.

[atthemercyof]

[ He laughs something small and quiet at that, moves into the passage, step careful and slow because he'd rather not trespass anywhere he shouldn't be. ]

A secret passage, liebling?

[oldcardigans]

A wee bit uncharacteristic, I know. You expect me to be a straight shooter through and through, but there's no harm in making other telepaths work harder to get to the rest of me, hmm?

[ There aren't any stray memories hanging about here, but the carpet colors and wood paneling are both still so vibrant, reminding Charles of why he's content to come here and clean up every so often.

But one open window brings in the stinging ocean air, Charles smelling the salt before he recognizes where they are, quelling a minor temor up his spine and swiftly moving to touch Erik's back to direct their path, putting himself between his friend and the windows. ] Nice weather, for a change. In Oxford, it was rain in the real world and in my head, good lord.

[atthemercyof]

It's protecting you. [ Smiling, though he's not sure why the sudden shift in Charles' demeanor is there. ] Why not diver to the classics?

[oldcardigans]

[ Hallway coming to an L shaped passage, Charles gently guides him around it, pointedly away from the searing sunshine, exactly how he remembered it from that day. Turning to grin cheerfully at him. ] Precisely. And a good few decoy rooms besides is typically all the protection I'll need to delay an intruder before I throw them out again. Present company excepted, of course.

[atthemercyof]

[ Letting himself be lead whatever way down the passage Charles wants, smiling absently. ] Mm. Good, as long as you're not turfing me out, dear.

[oldcardigans]

[ Blithely. ] The guided tour will have to sate you.

[ Breaching the thickset double doors, Charles only opens them a crack before he's looking over his shoulder with an impishness about him. ] Do watch your step. One wrong move and it's a long way down.

[atthemercyof]

This is truly spectacular, Charles. [ Slanting his gaze downward. ] How you could create something like this, it's wonderful.